“Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one!”
A friend or family member who wants to see you happy may do so at the cost of your real freedom. They “lovingly” apply the Band-Aid of agreement sensing they have met your need. They either do not know of or see your deep heart wounds or they think your temporary happiness is the goal when true heart-rich liberty is God’s goal. Forgive them. You put them in that spot. Friends are seldom objective counselors.
Agreeing with you only counts if you are right in your thinking. If you are not, if there are two sides to the story, they have endangered themselves by agreeing or condoning your actions, falling prey to a common scheme of the devil. (2 Cor 2:10-11 NASB)
God’s goal is the kingdom abiding within us. Matthew 6:10 “Thy will be done, Thy kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven.” The result (as it is in heaven) is joy unspeakable, full of glory! It is our responsibility to pursue the kingdom within us, with Him, into eternity!
Loved ones the past is a plague which the love of Jesus inoculates us against if we are willing, out of our love for Him and what He has done for us, to endure the pain of His injection of Truth. It is Truth that sets us free, a tiny amount of required often painful review so “anti-bodies” will rise against our destructive carnal reactions to memories and fears no longer allowing our souls, our very lives and loves, to be infected by our past.
All men or women are not the same as those who deeply wounded you. It is rare that you would again become drawn to or see fearful behavior except you have an expectation from your past that sooner or later they, men or women or people in general, will “show their true colors.” Your belief that they will is the problem, not them.
Your “faith” in this expectation is powerful and God knows it. Look at the situation you are in. How much fear is involved?
Heaven will not have it! You must understand this. That which is not allowed in heaven will never get in. Neither will the person contaminated with it. We all have our chance to grasp freedom. Being comfortable in our victim-hood is a curse! “It’s not my fault people keep doing this to me!”
God wants us to see where, to go all the way back to those maybe several, who actually harmed us, so we will get set free of our past. To do this God will use whoever is close to you (a new husband especially) to show you what is in your heart! Husbands are to cleanse like Christ does. A Godly husband will pursue your freedom out of love. Jesus models this with the church.
If you are listening, God is asking, “Where have you seen this behavior before?” Why, ultimately because that affliction cannot be in your heart when you pass into eternity. Immediately, so you will not blame the one trying to help you!
That’s right loved one. Heaven will not have you with that infection in your heart and relationships are doomed for the same reason.Not knowing you have poisoned yourself is bad enough let alone others.
Jesus said, “Whatever you allow must be allowed in heaven. Whatever is not allowed in heaven must not be allowed here, especially in your heart. You may bind, or you may loose. (His kingdom come!)
In this life, it is like you are infected and in seeking relief from your woe’s you are passing your offense along to others, harming them through the Band Aid of Agreement.
As a victim of your expectations you are breaking the heart of that one close to you, just as yours was broken by others. Your heart may have never been given, out of fear.
Those close to you are taking up your offense and a low grade unforgiveness has now infected them. Low grade, high grade, unforgiveness is what it is; a curse on all. They all are being defiled.
The Word says, “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up [in you] causes trouble, [in them] and by it many be defiled; “ Hebrews 12:15 (NASB77) [my notations]
Ask this question. “Is my family, my brothers and sisters, are my children, happy, loving, in love, Godly, or are they like what they saw in me or in our childhood? Was there, is there, dysfunction, anger, fear, physical and or verbal abuse, hatred, criticism, rejection, separation or divorce?
All you or they had to do, good or bad, is agree with or condone someone’s actions and compound it by speaking to others accordingly. Disaster upon them! Matthew 7:1-2 comes into play and there is NO escaping it, except they repent.
So are we seeing our offensive history in others? Are we ourselves repeating it?
Are we denying that what we see in that one close to us is not in their history but now we are seeing it? This is dramatically common.
It is the inescapable rules within the Word of God. If we judge it comes back upon us. If we fail to grant grace (truly forgive) it harms us and defiles those close to us and spreads from there. (Matthew 7:1-2, Hebrews 12:15.)
The knowledge of God’s Word is meant to free us not damage us!
Therefore, imagine a joy in this life that is beyond words, it is unspeakable and full of glory! It is a love like you have never known before. Such freedom, such a reward for submitting to God’s Way is ours for the pursuing. Eternity is at stake.
“Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord.” (Hebrews 12:14 NASB)
Think of it, your past no longer comes up or enters into your considerations of future relationships. Your God and your embracing of His Truth have set you free.
You trust people again because you know you are trustworthy. Why, because you have finally chosen well. If you can chose well so can others, especially in like faith.
You blamed yourself for those bad experiences and relationships did you not? They were not totally your fault if at all in some cases, but now years later you are still the carrier of the offenses and future prevention and healing require a deeply serious commitment to by-directional forgiveness. This insures the possibility of future love and happiness.
That which God gave you freely is available to give. Romans 5:17 says, “much more…those who receive the abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness, will reign in life through Christ Jesus. Verse 21, “that grace might reign, through righteousness, to eternal life, through Christ Jesus.”
Your thinking is no longer skewed. God has rescued you. True, deep, rich, joy is now yours. He will direct you to those who will help you be more in spirit and in truth as you minister to them and them also to you.
Remember, the prodigal chose to run home first, then he was restored.
“If we remain in His grip, how far from His heart can we be!”
A steward in the guardianship of Christ,
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